I was sitting on the edge of my bed, staring in shock and awe at a positive pregnancy test. I think that's probably the exact moment that my sense of style took a flying swan dive out the window. All consideration and regard for fashion - may you rest in peace. I was entering the world of "Mom jeans" and cotton...and it wasn't going to be pretty.
Even though you may not believe me right now, I really did used to care about what I looked like - I promise! In highschool, I used to scour the pages of "Seventeen" magazine, following the teen scene and learning about the newest trends. I used to adore shopping, and would battle my way through dressing rooms until I left the mall - victorious in my shopping conquest for the *cutest* new outfit. I would sit in front of the mirror testing out new hairstyles (for my frequently dyed hair) and mastering makeup application. I wouldn't dare leave the house without *at least* eyeliner, mascara, and a swipe of my newest shade/flavour of lipgloss. While my husband and I were dating, I even put in the effort to make sure I was wearing a matching bra and undie set, *just in case* he was going to see them (sorry, Mom - that may have been too much info for you!). My poor, naive little self had no idea what kind of trouble that matching bra and itty bitty little undies could cause..."mommyhood".
And then it all changed. I was exhausted. Sick. And ever expanding - in all directions. I just couldn't care less if I looked less than spectacular, because that's how I felt. I did enjoy shopping for maternity clothes - they're so adorable! But their price tags are not, and with a little peanut on the way I just couldn't afford to be trendy. As my wasteline grew...and grew...and grew...I was finding that I was needing to add to my wardrobe every few weeks. Until I found my new best friend, and the greatest invention known to woman (okay, aside from a good push-up bra) - elastic and drawstrings. Where have you been all my life?! At first, I resorted to wearing my "track pants" to work - I was in a bakery and spent my time either in the kitchen or behind the counter, so no one would see. I felt like I was committing such a horrible faux pas, and the fashion police were surely going to bust me any minute. But they were so comfy...almost liberating. Then I started to get more brave, and started wearing my new wardrobe to the grocery store, the bank, visiting family. Just in small doses, where only the "locals" would see me - afterall, most of these people wear their rubber boots and coveralls to town, how could I look out of place? But I kept getting more and more comfortable...too comfortable. Because money was still tight, I found myself buying dual-purpose clothes - clothes that were stretchy enough to be comfortable during pregnancy, but I could also wear after the baby arrived. I knew that I would still have some "babyweight", and the clothes would fit and be comfortable until I could get back in shape.
Except that never happened. I never lost all the weight, and I have never stopped wearing the clothes. Right now my wardrobe consists of a few pairs of track pants, a handfull of stretchy cotton shirts, and 2 pairs of jeans - also of the stretch variety. Nursing bras aren't exactly sexy, but at least they are colour coordinated with my worn out "granny panties". I can honestly say that I can't remember the last time I bought something for a reason other than its "stretchability" - from somewhere other than WalMart, or Giant Tiger. When I leave the house, sometimes I've taken a minute to sketch a bit of eyeliner across my eyes - but usually not. I just went through my extensive make-up collection and filled the waste basket in the bathroom....if it wasn't expired, it was horribly out of fashion (can you remember the last time someone wore glitter?) When I get out of the shower, I put a bit of mousse in my hair to tame the frizzies, but my jewellery has been replaced by a hair elastic on my wrist, because I'll likely get sick of having my hair tugged on and tie it back. It's not that I don't care - I really do - I just don't have the time or energy.
*note the "perpetual ponytail" and lack of make-up*
There is a light at the end of the frumpy tunnel...as I'm losing weight, I'm gaining some of my confidence back. I want to look as good as I feel! I want to be me again - look out fashion sense, it's time for a ressurection! I've made myself a couple of promises - to reward myself as I reach my weightloss goals. When I reach my 10% weightloss goal - I'm going to get my hair coloured. I used to love being blonde, and I'm going to treat myself to some highlights! By a professional...no more colour from a box! When I reach my final weight goal, I'm going to go shopping - at the MALL - and buy myself a couple of new outfits. That make me look good and show off the new me - not because of what they can hide. I even bought myself a cute pair of pink rhinestone sunglasses to add to my new accessories - the future looks best through rose coloured glasses :)
I'm excited to report that this week was much better than last! I was afraid to step on the scale, because I'd indulged a little throughout the week...a trip to East Side Mario's, Dairy Queen and McDonald's. Apparently I'm doing a pretty good job calculating my points, because I still managed to lose 2 lbs! I even got a pretty blue ribbon that says "I Lost 10 Pounds" that I brought home and hung on my fridge :)
Week #1: 137 lbs Week #2: 133.8 lbs - 3.2 lbs lost Week #3: 132.8 lbs - 1 lb lost/ 4.2 lbs total loss Week #4: 131 lbs - 1.8 lbs lost/ 6.0 lbs total loss Weeks #5 and 6 (combined): 129 lbs - 2 lbs lost/8 lbs total loss! Week #7: 128.8 lbs - 0.2 lbs lost/ 8.2 lbs total loss Week #8: 126.8 lbs - 2 lbs lost / 10.2 lbs total loss
I've won an award! And the best kind that you can win - one that's awarded by your peers :) Since I've been nominated by two of my girls, I figured it was about time that I accepted and started writing! Thanks MaryBeth and Michelle!
The rules of the award state that I must list seven things I love, and then to pass the award on to seven bloggers I love to read. Here we go!
7 things I love - aside from the obvious or previously mentioned...(my husband, kids, horses, family...)
1. Music. I love music, and can't imagine a day passing by without listening to something - anything! I'm not biased, I love all genres and eras. You know that tv show, "Don't Forget the Lyrics"? Yeah, I pretty much rock - I should be a millionaire by now, if they'd only let me on the show ;) Growing up with a Dad who is a DJ guaranteed that there was always something playing in the house - I'm surprised that we never had noise complaints against us, and that none of our windows were ever shattered. Did I mention that Dad likes LOUD music? So loud that the entire house vibrates and you can feel it all the way to your toes? They say that scent is the most powerful evoker of memories, but I disagree - every song I hear on the radio takes me back to a specific part of my life. Whether good or bad, I'm taken back to moments in time that are so vivid I could reach out and touch them. Music is also like...therapy. There is a song fitting to every situation in life, and nothing feels better than hearing it blare on the speakers and belting it out - it's cathartic. Most of my performances will be sung into my hair brush behind closed doors, and I've learned that car windows aren't soundproof...but you can't pass up a good song :)
2. Pink. The colour, not the artist (I do enjoy her though!). I know, I know, I said I'd talk about things that weren't obvious - but I can't help it. It's a sick obsession, I know. I would live surrounded by pink if I could - it makes me feel giddy and giggly and girly and silly. I don't buy anything unless I check to see if it's also available in pink - and have even purchased things solely because of this selling feature. You can imagine how excited I was to have a baby girl - I was told by my husband that this was the only situation where I would be "allowed" to have a pink room in our house...I held out to decorate the nursery until after she was born, "just in case".
3. Food. I love preparing, and eating it (just not cleaning the kitchen afterwards...). You can imagine how this love has gotten in the way of my weightloss goals in the past! It's rewarding to go through the process of creating, and then eating your "masterpiece". I like the challenge of new recipes, testing my skills and having the finished product look just as beautiful as it did in the recipe book. The way different scents, flavours and textures interact with each other...yummy!
4. Shoes. I know, I'm starting to sound like a "Valley Girl", but I love shoes! "Like, totally, for sure!" ;) I used to have a HUGE collection (probably close to 30 pairs), but due to wear and tear and outdated fashion trends, some of them have moved on to a "better place" (ie. not my closet, so I can make room for more). I love how just the "right" pair can make or break an outfit. It doesn't matter if I already have 3 pairs in an almost identical style...I always need a different colour, to match another outfit! And the higher the heels, the better! I have short legs, and they need all the help they can get. I've been walking in heels looooong before my Mom's shoes would fit me, and I laugh because Abigayle has developed the same obsession. Ted has no idea what he's in for...men, they just don't understand! I will admit that since having children, my collection has shrunk and become less of a priority...but I'm working on it.
5. Baby Animals. You have to be pretty sick NOT to love baby animals, right? I think that the *best* job in the world would be to work with baby critters. I used to have big dreams of working in the veterinary field, and always dreamed of what it would be like to work in a zoo nursery. Instead, I've "downsized" those dreams...I'm planning to be a Miniature Dachshund breeder, and in the (probably very distant) future I also plan to breed Paint and Quarter Horses. How could you not want to play with puppies and foals every day? Yes, I know theres a LOT more than "playing" involved, but the rewards outweigh the work. Right now, if I need my "baby fix" I can go out to the barn and let a calf suck on my fingers, and I can usually find a few barn kittens to admire - from a distance, those things are small but mighty! Yowza!
6. Living in the Country. I will admit that it's a drag to have to drive at *least* an hour to get to any major "city", but I love it out here. I hate people, crowds, traffic, noise, concrete, pollution...you get my drift? I love being secluded - but not too secluded, we do have neighbours. I love that my kids can play in the yard and I don't have to worry about their ball rolling into traffic...if their ball makes it out our laneway, I'm contacting the major leagues! I love that if I sit outside, the only sounds I'll hear are nature, and usually the hum of a tractor in the distance. If someone drives down the road, we look out the window and usually know who it is, and where they're going.
7. Horror Movies. I'm a nerd, I know. They're cheesy, predictable, and usually over-the-top (the same reason I also love Musicals!). I've found myself on a quest for a horror movie that will actually scare me. And not just the "a killer is going to jump out of the closet" type of scare. I mean a "leaves you clinging to your popcorn bowl on the couch, afraid to get up and go pee" type of scary. My husband has given up on me, he couldn't possibly sit through another cheesy flick, so I make sure to watch them when he's not home. And the kids are in bed. On a dark and stormy night... *MUA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!* BOO!
And now to pass on the nomination! 7 Bloggers I love, and would like to learn more about...(I'm sorry, I don't know how to link properly!)
1. Angela, from "Thatch" the Journey...Now in Progress
You know how every mother curses her child with "I hope some day you have a daughter/son just like you!" Well, today I met my match. When I was about 2 years old, I decided to test out some hairstyling products. However, the "gel" I found was not really gel at all, but a jumbo sized tub of vaseline. Hating to have my hair washed on a good day, I can only imagine the nightmare that my Mom went through, trying to get me clean...well my friends, I don't have to imagine anymore. Today while I tried to steal a few minutes on the computer, I turned on a cartoon for Abigayle to watch. After a few minutes, I noticed that her usual "busy" sounds had stopped, and she was quiet...too quiet. I peered over the back of the couch, and found that she had reached into Austin's playpen/change table and found the tub of Vaseline. There were gobs of it all over her face, hair, hands and clothes - she proudly cheered, "cream, Mommy!". Since the damage was already done, of course I reached for my camera! I needed documentation for when she claims I tried to torture and drown her. So, we got in the tub. Thankfully, she loves her bathtime, and doesn't usually mind having her hair washed. The first time. In this picture, you can see that she is quite enjoying herself! But by the fourth time I lathered up the little greaseball, it was more like shampooing a wildcat. This is where the claims of drowning are likely to come about - thank heaven for tear-free shampoo. In the final picture, you can see that her hair still looks and feels like an oil slick...even after washing her hair FIVE times. Thank-you , Mom for the curse - now I would also appreciate a remedy for getting vaseline out of a toddler's hair...or is that one of the lessons I have to figure out for myself? Right up there with, "don't leave your toddler unattended with Vaseline in arm's reach"...Lesson learned. The hard way, as usual!
Since procrastination seems to be taking over my "Wednesday Weigh-In" entries, I think it's safer just to call it my "Weekly Weigh-In". This way, you won't be disappointed when Wednesday rolls around and I'm nowhere to be seen...it'll be more like a pleasant surprise when I finally decide to write something. At least I hope it's pleasant!
This past week wasn't so spectacular...I only lost 0.2 lbs. Which is still a loss - don't get me wrong, I'm still happy about it! I've just learned that I can't let my busy schedule and lazy moods take over, or I wont be as successful in my weightloss. Last week consisted of too many "convenience" meals (i.e. frozen pizza and pasta dishes...easy to prepare, not so easy on the wasteline), and there were a couple of days where I didn't eat all of my points because I just couldn't be bothered to find something to eat.
My next weigh-in is on Monday night, hopefully this week has been more successful!
I'm a stay-at-home Mom of 3 children aged 5yrs and under - they keep me busy to say the least! I'm also the wife of a Dairy farmer, trying to spice up the conventional image of "the Farmer's Wife"...pink oven mitts and rubber boots are definitley staple items in my wardrobe!