I promised a post about the Paranormal, and had planned to incorporate it into my last entry but got carried away....
You've probably grown up believing that "there's no such thing as ghosts" - but I didn't. I grew up knowing quite the opposite. Living in a house built in the 1800's (it'll be 130 years old next year - Happy Birthday, House!), I learned it to be completely normal to share my home with several spirits. I'll admit at times I was petrified, but for the most part I just knew it as "the norm". "Why did that door just open on its own?!", "Oh, it was probably just the ghost...". Needless to say, I have many friends who still confess to being afraid to spend time in my parents house. Apparently it's not "normal" to have to ask a ghost to leave you alone...
So when I moved out of my parents' house and into the farmhouse, I wasn't sure what to expect. When I first started spending time here, there was the undeniable feeling that Iwasn't alone. I wasn't sure who was here with me (other than the fleas and the rats, but that's a different story...), I just knew that they were. In the beginning, there were a few times that I felt a rush of panic and anxiety come over me - like I would suffocate if I didn't run out of the house at that exact moment. It wasn't as bad if there were other people around - the natural comfort of safety in numbers - but it got to the point where I wouldn't stay in the house by myself. I would sit on the front step until someone came back. I knew that I had to confront this problem and gain posession of my own house - so one day I had a conversation with "whomever" is here, telling them that this is *OUR* house now. I didn't mind that they were here, but they had to leave me alone. Call me crazy, but it seemed to work! No more fear and panic - I was able to spend time on my own, cleaning or painting, or working away. You could argue that it was all psychological, and it just made me feel better to speak out about my feelings...but I know better. That was pretty much it for a while - but over the past 3 years I've had a few encounters. Wanna hear about them? I know you do :)
I know that there is a man here. I've seen him. One day I was sitting on the couch watching TV when I saw a man walk past the window in front of me. Assuming it was Ted, I didn't think much of it. But when he didn't come in the house, I got up to look for him. There was no one in the yard, or anywhere around the house. Ted's truck wasn't here - he was obviously still at work.
Another night, I was here alone while Ted was playing hockey. Again, I was sitting on the couch watching TV when out of the corner of my eye I saw a man standing diagonally behind me (to my right). Even though I thought it was too early, I assumed it was Ted home from hockey. I asked why he was home already, and turned to look at him but he was gone. I got up to look in the kitchen, but there was no one there. Ted didn't come home til about an hour later.
I'm not sure what it is, but there is "something" on my livingroom ceiling. I know, that sounds strange. I was "doggy-sitting" my parents' pooch for a couple of weeks, and she kept looking up at this one spot on the ceiling and growling. She would hunch up defensively, and grumble. Occasionally, my dog "Myah" will look up at the same spot and bark - she doesn't bark at *anything* (a useless guard dog!), but she'll bark at the ceiling. Both Abigayle (as a baby) and Austin have also stared up, watching the exact same spot - but not yet old enough to talk, I couldn't ask them what they saw!
Now that Abigayle is old enough to talk, she scares me sometimes. She always jibber-jabbers away when she's by herself. She's a chatterbox, so it's nothing out of the ordinary. But when she talks to the "Boy", I have to wonder. "Here Boy, you want this?" - conversational sentances. I've tried asking her who she's talking to, but she doesn't really answer. The other day I was getting her out of bed in the morning when she said something about the "ghost" - I'm very careful not to say that around her, because I don't want to frighten her, or take the risk of putting thoughts in her head. I calmly asked her, "where is the ghost?" - she pointed down the stairs and said "he's there!" - right where I had seen the man standing that night in the livingroom. She's pointed out a "man" in the same spot on other occasions as well.
There seems to be a bit more "activity" lately. A couple of days ago I was in the shower when I heard a little knock on the glass door. I thought that Abigayle had made a jailbreak from the livingroom - she likes to tap on the door if you're in the shower. I washed the shampoo from my eyes and looked - no one there. So I kept washing the rest of the shampoo out, when I heard a much louder knock - definately on the shower door, no mistaking it. This time I opened the door and looked around, thinking that maybe Ted had come in and was playing a trick on me - still no one.
Go ahead and call me crazy. Ted does all the time - you should see the way he cringes when I turn on "Ghost Hunters" or "Paranormal State" (even though he admits that GH isn't "that bad"). I know what I've experienced, and I know that I couldn't possibly prove any of it to you - I can't expect you to believe me! And I'm okay with that.
What I'm not okay with, is how to go about explaining things to my kids. I have no clue how to go about this. My plan at the moment, is to not mention anything unless they bring it up - like Abigayle's "ghost" comment the other day. What I don't want to do, is to brush their experiences off, or try to disqualify them. I can't simply say "don't be silly, there's no such thing as ghosts!", when I don't believe that myself. But at the same time, I don't want them to be laughed at when they're in school, talking about ghost stories at Halloween...and they tell their class that "Mommy says that ghosts are real! They're in my house!". I believe that young children are so much more open/sensitive to spiritual activity because society hasn't yet "tought" them that spirits don't exist. I believe that all children (and animals) are able to see what we can't - we used to have the ability too, until we supressed it somewhere along the way. Think back to the very first day in Science class...when you learned that "energy cannot be destroyed - it simply changes form". Our energy can't simply disappear once we're gone - it continues on, and takes a different form.
So you *still* up for that visit? You might want to bring your flashlight ;)